I read somewhere recently that a bee symbolizes industry, and therefore wealth.
If I had time to illustrate today (which I might, it will just get posted
later), I’d draw a bee, a very busy one, possibly one rolling in lots of cash,
as a hopeful, optimistic wish for the show outcome this weekend. I’ve been
cramming tons of stuff into this week, we’ve got lots of cute stuff to sell. I
have no idea what to expect at this little show. Might make a few good
connections; hopefully will get a few custom Christmas Card orders. Those always
bring in good last minute Christmas spending money. Even if there aren’t alot of
orders, Dallas will be a great time. There’s this great little restaurant called
Thomas Avenue Beverage Company that serves the best ever jalepeno-chipotle
dumplings and bleu cheese steak that we’re going to hit Friday night. I’ll be
taking the sketchbook, with hopefully a little time to doodle, and catch up with
some old friends. And if I remember, I’ll have my camera, batteries charged, to
post some pictures on Monday! Wish me luck!

It seems like there are some awesome changes happening in the personal web lives
of fellow bloggers lately. It seems like so many people are giving their notice,
quitting their day jobs, getting married, becoming pregnant, celebrating
anniversaries, starting new ventures. Pink champagne all around! That’s what
life is about! It seems more and more lately that “big news” announcements are
appearing on some of my daily reads! Maybe it just that change is our only
constant, or maybe it’s just that I’m more in tune with the lives I read about
daily than I was year ago… One year ago I had just discovered blog world,
thanks to Kevin and Ragan. One year ago, I had just started dating Drew. One
year ago I had never been to New York, never dreamed I’d own my own house in
less than four weeks, never dreamed I wouldn’t move in until 6 months later. One
year ago I had no Amanda–the one person who manages to hold my life together
just by walking into my office and saying, “Don’t you think we should take
Christmas tags to Dallas? They’d be a fast, easy, cheap sale.” To which I reply,
“Brilliant, Amanda, you rock.” One year ago there was no Sophie, no idea how to
build anything in Pagemaker, let alone illustrator, no ambitions of cooking
derived from watching Emril on summer weekends. One year ago I don’t think I
even believed in myself. It makes me wonder what life will be like one year from
today. After elections are over, Christmas is done, the new sales year begins.
Time will fly, I know, because it has flown this year, and they say it just gets
faster. Lately I’ve begun to realize how reluctant I’m becoming to give up this
life, these roots, I hardly cared about two years ago. It was a sort of carefree
existence, a come-what-may-as-long-as-the-bills-get-paid-who-cares sort of
mentality. How I graduated to the responsibilty of paying someone’s salary and
actually starting work at 10 in the morning and came to the pressures of having
to choose between sea grass and sisal is beyond me. So I’ve come to that point
where it’s time to say goodbye. Not to you, darling readers, not to my beloved
internet, but to the me who didn’t have to get up and go to work in the morning.
The me that ate hamburgers and fries every day, the me that didn’t care if my
hair was combed and my lipstick was on. Goodbye to twenty-five. Hello to alarm
clocks and disappearing waist lines and having to sit through the agony of
highlights, staring into a mirror, watching crows’ feet appear. And hello to
change. I might as well embrace it. Today was a hard day. We had three canceled
orders, almost unheard of for a week, let alone one day. I heard Amanda sigh
three different times when she got off the phone. I didn’t say anything, but
when she brought it up in conversation, I realized I no longer had the luxury of
expressing my concern. She had handled each situation beautifully and
gracefully, with as much understanding and warmth as she could muster, given
that the month has been very lean. She knows it’s lean; she’s as worried about
it as I am, but I can’t let on that I’m worried. That’s the change part. That’s
the responsibility part. That’s the I-don’t-get-to-throw-a-fit part. SAJ talked
about dark moments in her post–today was one of those dark moments for me. I’ve
been through enough to know that the dark will pass, the change won’t be so bad,
and that there will be some unexpected perks along the way. So this evening, to
combat the tears of fatigue, I’d like to thank every single person who has read
this blog lately, and posted any bit of advice or encouragement. If it’s always
darkest before the dawn, each of you has been a glimpse of the sunlight on the
horizon, and words cannot even begin to express my gratitude.

I’ve always been fascinated by patterns. The idea of repition offers a sense of
visual security, kind of a you-know-whats-coming-next feeling. Lately, I’ve been
all about plaids, probably because of the upcoming holiday season. There are
millions out there, but most recognizable in today’s trends is the Burberry
plaid. I spent the evening deconstructing it in my mind. It’s actually so
simple. A series of three lines, consistently the same proportion to one
another, consistently the same white space between them. Those are the only
constants. Everything else changes; color, scale, the presence of a single red
line running through and offsetting the others. Amazingly enough, however,
almost anyone can see those three dark lines contrast with the two white lines
and instantly say, “That’s burberry plaid.”

This is the notecard design I did a couple of weeks ago for one of my clients.
I’m getting ready to go to Dallas next week for a little show; this weekend I’m
going to work on some design samples in this vein. It’s very custom looking, and
I think that would be a good sell for the market I’m going to target. Fingers
crossed!

Sent the cease and desist letter this morning, telling ebay woman to quit using
three separate designs: a gingham, a stripe and a toile. Got an email
immediately, complying to remove the stripe design, but insisting that the
gingham came from Printmaster and the toile was a Quill paper from Staples. She
sent me a sample of a digitized gingham and insisted it was the same as my
watercolored version she had up. After I proved her wrong on that one, and asked
for a sample of the Quill paper (because I know that toile Quill paper doesn’t
exist), she sent me a poorly photo-shopped rendition of my toile. I told her
that that wasn’t acceptable; take it down or I’ll pursue further legal action.
She complied when she heard that, but still insisted we were talking about
different toiles. When I sent her a scan of my original design, she finally
admitted that they were the same. Her final email to me stated that she bought a
disk of fradulent artwork. Hmm, interesting. Because even though she immediately
agreed to take the stripe down, I thought the gingham was from Printmaster and
the toile was from Staples. Now it’s all artwork from a fradulent disk. Give me
your suggestions, though: she finally took the designs down, but should I pursue
the issue to find out how she came by such a large quantity of my artwork?

Thank you all so much for the FABULOUS ideas and the great encouragement! After
a heartening conversation with my darling friend Dawn, over at Blue Moon
Invitations, I began to take action. Gathering cease and desist letters,
contacting the other companies that were infringed upon as well, printing copies
of the pages to proove the designs were actually there. I had a full
afternoon–my last one of volunteering for awhile–and tonight I strategize.
Tomorrow, I’m going to contact ebay, the switchboards, her web service host, and
send the letters, probably CC’d to all the aformentioned. I don’t want to
unleash the wrath of my fellow do-gooders out there, so I refrain from posting
links. I think she’ll get scared enough when the owners of 6 different, HUGE
companies all decide to descend upon her with the wrath of gods. What boggles my
mind is that she probably doesn’t realize that this is wrong. Makes no sense.

Ok, I new this would happen, and I tried to prepare myself, but it still is
twenty times more shocking than I prepared for. SOMEONE IS COPYING MY STUFF!
I’ve been a member at the Switchboards for awhile now, and she’s on there. I
read her intro, looked at her website, and saw that she had copied some other
manufacturers. Now she’s flat out scanning my stuff (!!!), changing the color,
printing it on an inkjet (or something equally awful) and selling it on ebay!
I’m so freaking mad I could curse! What should I do??? I don’t have a lawyer,
nor enough money for one. Do I email? Send a letter certified mail? Call her up
and scream “are you an idiot? I’m on the same entrepreneur support site as you
and you’re copying me?”. Help!

I just finished off 5 Milano dark chocolate mint cookies, half a piece of
pumpkin cheesecake with cream cheese icing and a Dr. Pepper. Methinks the sugar
made my tummy hurt. I do a pretty good job of keeping sugar out of the house,
but lately it’s been shouting my name loud and clear, as it usually does when
I’m stressed. It’s been a crazy week, and I’ve been out of my element. It just
seems like there is so much going on that there is no room in my brain for any
eloquent thoughts, and the effort to develop any was exerted this afternoon
unpacking a booth for a retailer at this year’s jr. league market. And now my
tummy hurts.

I’m scared again. Is it ok to admit that? I just got done sketching a navigation
page for a new site, all of a sudden I’m terrified. I’ve wavered back and forth
on the concept of combining this journal with my professional life. So many
people have done it–Keri Smith, probably has done it most effectively, if I had
to guess. But I’m terrified of putting my heart out there, in a very competitive
industry, doing things differently. Being young and making waves. In one breath
it sounds fabulous, doesn’t it? And the next second, I think about what I’d be
going up against and something says, slow down. And two minutes after that I’m
reeling in a field of dreams, thinking, no one has done this before! Could I
really be myself and make money doing it? I wish you could see this sketch in
front of me. I know you’re thinking, “Way too easy. Go scan it.” But it’s not
that easy. It’s not hard because I have bad ideas. It’s hard because it’s
putting those ideas out there. It’s hard thinking of people who have made a
whole heck of alot more money than I have looking at this, copying me in one
breath, ridiculing me in the next. The sense of artist comradery here on dear
Internet does not exist in my everyday world. I’m scared.

I was trying to take pictures of the new chair when Sophie decided it would be
the perfect perch. I’m not crazy about the upholstery, but the blue in it
matches my office walls exactly, and it’s in very clean condition, and it’s very
expensive fabric, so, knowing me, I’ll just live with it. Every single
upholstered item in my house needs reupholstering at the moment. I just can’t
bring myself to the point of spending what I would have to spend on fabric and
labor to make it happen. It was a busy day today. All I did was package all day,
and the monotony of the task made me realize exactly how long my to-do list is
getting. For tonight, however, I’m going to watch CSI: Miami. Also, I’ve got a
little project cooking for those of you who have been wanting to see some of my
cards. More on this later…